Next to being a wife, I think parenting is the most difficult endeavor I have ever taken on in my life. Although there are many rewards (I would never want to forfeit them), parenting is just plain hard. If you are a parent, I am sure you completely understand. Dr. Todd Cartmell, a clinical child psychologist and a parent of two sons, provides some simple tools for parents who want to raise great kids in his newly released book 8 Simple Tools for Raising Great Kids. It is a parenting book that presents some obvious areas that should be given attention and also provides ways to address those areas for positive results in your children.
Now that I have a teenager, I continue to experience more challenging situations. I think a lot of it is due to both of us going through a season of change where we are trying to find our new roles in our relationship. Cartmell stresses the importance of building your relationship with your child, which I also agree is very important.
8 Simple Tools for Raising Great Kids is written with the goal of aiding parents, but also in a manner that seems to understand the need for quick information. The content is concise, but thorough and will not take you long to read. The eight tools that are covered include the following:
#1 Talking
#2 Listening
#3 Influencing
#4 Connecting
#5 Teaching
#6 Encouraging
#7 Correcting
#8 Leading
Cartmell covers each tool in a chapter (see chapter outlines) that not only explains his perspective, but provides parents with tips on how to apply the tool. Some of the tools I was immediately drawn to were #2 Listening, #4 Connecting and #6 Encouraging. I saw something I could take away from all of the suggested tools, but those three were ones I really read closely. An example of one of the tools is, I have a habit of “sort of” listening to my son (Tool #2), and that is usually after I have said what I want him to hear. The example Cartmell shared involved his wife, where he allowed her to speak first.
”As I listened first, I found my point of view beginning to soften. She didn’t seem as unreasonable as she had just seconds before.”
Although that spoke volumes to me, I knew implementing the tool would be difficult. I know I do not listen as well as I should when talking to my son, especially if I do not agree with something he did or said. The specific tip for that part of the tool was sensible.
“Listening first will always help you respond more wisely than if you had talked first.”
I realize there is nothing groundbreaking about that tip, but as simple as it is, how often do we forget? The tools Cartmell shares and the tips (as reminders) are ones we all know well and they make sense. If you have read your Bible, you may even recognize the relationship of the tools from God’s Word.
I really like the summary of tips included in the back of the book. They are not magic tips, but rather ones parents can quickly read to remind them of the value of the tool and what successful application of the tool can achieve. There is also a section of corresponding Bible verses for each tool he shares.
I think as a parent you may always question how you are raising your child if you are in the midst as well as how you raised your child if he is now grown and on his own. If you are in the midst of early parenthood (have a child still at home), this book will provide some good and useful information. If you are able to apply and do well only just a few of the tools in 8 Simple Tools for Raising Great Kids, you should consider yourself a success.
Would you like to learn more about the eight tools that can lead to raising great kids? Moody Publishers is offering my readers 50 percent off of the purchase of 8 Simple Tools for Raising Great Kids through Sunday, May 15. Use code GREATKIDS16 at checkout. Read an excerpt.